Vice Squad
Sunday, March 07, 2004
Another Victory

I am proud to report another great victory in the war against drugs in Monroe County, IN, as reported in Saturday, March 6, 2004 edition of The Herald-Times (subscription required). As you will see from the story, the enemy was smart and cunning, but the law enforcement has prevailed. Two Monroe County work-release inmates, Shawn and Anthony, were charged on Friday with “conspiracy to commit trafficking with an inmate and trafficking with an inmate, respectively.” (BTW, this quote reminds me of an old Soviet joke that under capitalism man exploits man, and under socialism it’s the other way around.) According to the story, on Thursday, Shawn called the jail to report that Anthony had marijuana hidden in his sock. Later it turned out that it was Shawn himself who gave the drugs to Anthony. The investigator hypothesized that Shawn wanted to turn Anthony in, because Anthony was competing with Shawn in the business of smuggling drugs into the jail. Shawn apparently did not realize that he would get in trouble as well.

The article also reports of a third work-release inmate being charged with smuggling drugs. It is unclear if this breakthrough in the war on drugs was related to the first two, but it is interesting in its own right. The inmate was taken to Bloomington Hospital for X-rays that revealed “something lodged in his body cavity.” “Once he was confronted with [the pictures] he went ahead and pulled it out on his own,” the investigator said. Now, not only all the law-abiding residents of Monroe County can feel safe in their homes, but even the inmates of the county jail can sleep peacefully knowing that the three of their friends no longer would be able to enjoy the wicked weed or even their work-release privileges.

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